Demolishing 5 Myths of Human Development
Just because an idea is held by the masses does not make it true.
Indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind,
an idea that is widely held is more likely to be false than true.
~ Bertrand Russell
The wacky love affair between Pop Psychology and New-ageism has spawned numerous myths regarding our possibilities and probabilities in the realm of human development. Combine this with a belly bursting with Chicken Soup and the fact that anyone and everyone has their own personal definition of Spirituality (usually something that makes me feel good) and Spirit (usually something I can somehow manipulate to get what I want), and we have all the ingredients for a virtual cornucopia of confusion, distortion, and delusion.
(Sorry to mix my metaphors so self-indulgently, but I was having fun with that)
Here are 5 myths that are worth examining, because getting past them means you have entered a whole new world. Actually, you've entered the real world, having exited the world you've been sleeping in.
Welcome!
Myth #1. Self esteem is the key to personal development.
The Real Deal: Self esteem is only a key until it is obtained, then it should become a non-issue.
Self-esteem tasks begin in the late stages of childhood development and continue through adolescence, and unless a pathology or trauma occurs, should be adequately navigated and secured well before the 20th birthday.
Good enough self-esteem is a worthy goal, but a very poor lifelong project.
Self esteem, as important as it is, should be acquired, then left behind for deeper and more encompassing stages of development, unless you would rather hang around the middle rung of a ladder instead of climbing closer to the top, where you are afforded the most vast, spectacular and accurate view.
Myth #2. Spirit is an aspect of you as a person.
The Real Deal: This is called confusing source with expression. Ocean is source, wave is expression. Sun is source, sunlight is expression. Spirit is source, the person is expression.
What is it that likes to believe that Spirit/Life is under its control or can be summoned to do its bidding through petitionary exercises like prayer and meditation?
That is called ego, or the separate conceptual self, which is also simply another expression of Spirit/Life.
Most people like the idea of 'letting go' as long as they can keep control. They say to them selves, "I'll work on my spiritual self and become a better person."
This is like the wave saying, "I will work on my ocean self and become a better wave", as if the wave is in control of the ocean.
The problem is, the wave is an expression of the ocean and does not at all exist in the way it imagines. It is already nothing but ocean.
You, are already nothing but Spirit/Life. You can't be otherwise.
Myth #3. Beliefs are important.
The Real Deal: Santa seemed pretty real once too, until that belief was exposed to be unreal.
Not that once it was real and then it became unreal. The belief in Santa was always unreal. In much the same way, all beliefs are destined for demolition, either replaced by experience (makes the belief obsolete) or exposed as delusion (makes the belief disappear).
We don't believe in chairs, anger, sunshine, or pain. We know them directly through experience. Belief's are also on the middle rung when it comes to deep understanding and wisdom.
Put simply, who, what, and how would you be, without a single belief? The belief that beliefs are important is a self-fulfilling delusion par excellence. Beliefs are for children and sleeping adults.
Beliefs are candles that man uses to ward off the surrounding darkness.
They are charms we use to hold infinity at bay,
to dispel the black cloud that hovers over every head.
~ Jed McKenna
Myth #4. Positive self-talk is better than negative self-talk.
The Real Deal: This is only true until you go beyond self-talk altogether. I don't mean that self-talk will end, only that it will be seen accurately and allowed its proper place.
Positive self-talk is only better than negative self-talk because it makes you feel good. This is called self-pleasuring.
A good dream is only better than a bad dream until you wake up and realize they are both just dreams.
As I said in my book, Waking Up To Life!, self talk is for children and sleeping adults.
Myth #5. You can heal your way to wholeness.
The Real Deal: While some healing is important and maybe even necessary, you can never be more whole than you always already were, and are. This is because what you are in essence is Life itself, alive as a person. Life cannot be broken, partial, or unwhole. Never.
Life is always whole from start to finish, and beyond. Anything otherwise is fantasy and misinterpretation.
An acorn is whole, a sapling is whole, a young tree is whole, a mighty oak is whole, a felled oak is whole, an oak 2x4 is whole, an oak rocking chair is whole. All are whole expressions of Life, lacking nothing... except the false belief in un-wholeness that is perpetuated by many well meaning healers.
The idea of healing to wholeness is actually a belief that could be looked at and possibly discarded, when it becomes experientially obvious that what you are, which IS Life, is always already whole and complete from the start.
Of Myths and Mirages
I've always found it interesting that a mirage is something that anyone and everyone can be fooled by, yet there's nothing really there. The word mirage means 'an optical illusion' as well as 'something illusory and unattainable'.
The fastest way to expose a mirage as 'something illusory and unattainable' is to try to get close to it. When you do, it will become quickly apparent that there is nothing really there. That doesn't mean that it will never seem to appear again, only that you will come to understand the nature of a mirage.
In just the same way, the fastest way to expose the 'self' as 'something illusory and unattainable' is to try to get close to it. When you do, it will become quickly apparent that there is nothing really there. That doesn't mean that it will never seem to appear again, only that you will come to understand the nature of the 'self'.
The belief that you are an unwhole 'self' may seem to appear to be real, like clouds seem to obscure the sky and waves appear to be separate.
But the sky is always wide open, waves are actually Ocean deep, and you ARE the enormity of Life, fooled by the mirage of an itty bitty self.
Once again, the 5 myths of human development in point form are:
